Posted 2:22 AM by Robert
No, no, I haven't forgotten about this, I've just been lazy. The times when I've wanted to update my blog, I haven't had the time, and when I've had the time, I haven't felt like it. Either I didn't know what to say, or I just didn't want to confront my own thoughts.

I should be in a good mood, but I'm not. Classes ended on Wednesday, and finals begin Monday. I've already taken two of them in class, so I've only got three finals left next week. Besides studying, I basically have nothing to do.

However, I'm kind of bummed out because I won't be seeing the guys in the dorm until next year (then again, I'm sure that the summer won't be long enough). On top of that, my beloved Philadelphia Flyers lost to Tampa Bay, and are losing the Eastern Conference Finals, 2 games to 1. We're so freakin' close to actually winning the Stanley Cup this year, but instead we're going to blow it.

I'm sure by now you're wondering, "What about that girl? Have you talked to her yet?" Come on, we all know the answer to this. No, I haven't talked to Megan. I've spent the last two months being a wuss and not talking to her. Actually, at this point, fear isn't the biggest issue. Of course, I'm still afraid, but the lack of time left in the school year is more of an obstacle.

I shouldn't be afraid to talk to her. As far as I can tell, she might actually like me. A couple weeks ago, one of the other guys in the dorm said that while we were at dinner, she kept staring at me. And I know he wasn't just saying that and pulling my leg. Yet I just can't get up the courage to talk to her. What more motivation could I need? There's a strong possibility that she likes me, and I'm running out of time . . . but I sit here and do nothing about it.

After another week, I'll probably never see her again. At this point, I can deal with not dating her. I'd like to at least be friends with her, and keep in touch through e-mail, or something along those lines. More than anything, I just want her to know that I like her.

When it comes to "love," I have nothing but failure, and it's mostly my own fault. I've only asked out one girl, and the timing was horrible. The timing was also bad with Megan, although, as I look back, I realize that I had all the time in the world, and I wasted it. I'm still wasting it now. But my point is, I'm either afraid to talk, or I have bad timing. I don't think those are qualities that the ladies desire.

I know, I'm whining about it. And I have only myself to blame. I really want to talk to Megan, just for a few minutes. But it would have to be in person. Calling her seems inappropriate, and writing her a letter seems creepy.

I need to go out on a ledge, I need to take a risk. The chance to tell Megan how I feel far outweighs the risk of looking like an idiot, so why can't I act on it?

At first thought, life sucks right now. But I really don't have any room to complain. Compared to most people, I've got it made. I mean, I know things could be worse. My question is, why can't they be better?