Posted 12:29 AM by Robert
What is it that causes that sinking, hopeless feeling when you see that certain person? Is it the fact that you're not with them? Is it that they don't know how you feel? Or is that they don't feel the same way in return?

I've realized that there have only been two girls that liked me or wanted to go out with me. One of them had her friend ask me if I would go out with her, but I wasn't interested in her, and I had a crush on someone else at the time. I actually took some initiative with the other girl (the only one I've ever asked out), but I seriously doubt if she ever really liked me at all. And it sucks to think that nobody feels that way about me now.

I know God loves me, and I know nothing can match that love. And I have chased after God and tried to fill every void in my life with Him. So why do I still feel empty? Is that God's way of telling me I should go after this girl? I'm sorry, but it just isn't clear enough of a sign. What if it's Satan talking? What if I'm just creating this idea in my head? How do I really know what God's voice sounds like? It would be so much easier if He were telling me something I didn't want to hear -- it's too easy to think that God's telling me what I want to hear. And believe me, I want it.

Maybe I should have hope. You never know what tomorrow will bring. I mean, in September, the Eagles were 0-2. I had no idea that they would even make it to the NFC Championship Game. I expected to have a roommate when I came back this semester. After all, I had no reason to think otherwise. But the fact is, I have no reason for any hope. I know it sounds like self-pity, but it's true: I just don't get what I want.