Posted 5:56 PM by Robert
I'm sure you're all ever so disappointed because I haven't updated my blog in a week, but I've had limited computer access while on vacation. I should be home by Saturday, so the regular updates will resume shortly. Until then, I just wanted to have one last update in 2003.

Christmas went well. In fact, Santa was very good to me. I got a ton of awesome things, including the 2003 Hess Truck, and some retro Phillies and Flyers jerseys (you probably have no idea what any of those things are. If you don't, do a Google search. I don't feel like explaining them here). I also received "The Santa Clause 2," "Seabiscuit," and "Bruce Almighty" on VHS (that's right, I'm old school), and some gift coupons for Blockbuster and movie theatres. Oh, and I got some flannel pants and a bunch of socks!

I also got to watch my beloved Eagles win their third consecutive NFC East Division title Saturday night, and then clinch the top spot in the NFC playoffs after Detroit upset St. Louis on Sunday. You may not care about sports or football, but I do, and this means that the Eagles have home field advantage up until the Super Bowl. Of course, the same thing happened last year, and Philly lost at home in the conference championship game. Anything can happen on any given Sunday . . .

Anyway, have a fun and happy new year. Stay safe, don't drink and drive. See you in 2004.

Posted 9:21 PM by Robert
Just wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday! I haven't been doing much, so I have hadn't much of a reason to update (plus, I don't have direct access to a computer for the time being). I arrived in Philadelphia safe and sound, and ate a cheesesteak and cheese fries within two hours of my arrival (those of you who know me aren't surprised, I'm sure).

I should have a post-Christmas update soon. Until then, stay safe, Merry Christmas, and Happy Boxing Day!

Posted 12:13 PM by Robert
Hey, I'm updating my blog at a normal time! That's because I'm getting ready to leave for Philadelphia. I'm heading back east to spend Christmas with my dad, so I'll be out there for about a week and half. I should be able to update my blog while I'm out there, which means that you'll still get to hear about my wonderful and exciting life!

I should be on my way to the airport now. With the heightened security level, you have to leave about 53 hours before your flight. Just in case I don't get another update in, Happy Hanukkah, Krazy Kwanzaa, and Merry Christmas!

Posted 2:58 AM by Robert
Something is seriously wrong when I can't update my blog before two in the morning.

I'm back at my mom's apartment in Naperville. I've been here since Wednesday, but I've been too lazy to update this. And I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from HSIW -- High-speed Internet Withdrawal. I'm using dial-up again until I get back to school. Ughhhh . . .

Things could be worse, so I'm trying not to complain about it. Although I will complain about Christmas shopping. For serious, between Wal-Mart last night and the mall today, I was wonderfully reminded of the trials and tribulations of the holiday. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas and feel of the whole season, and I enjoy shopping, but people are nuts. You know how it is -- everyone else is crazy, and you're the only sane person left, the only one who knows how to do anything right.

I haven't been up to very much since my break started. I played some guitar today, went shopping, worked out, went to the youth group's Christmas party at the church. I also watched "X-Men 2" at my friend Tim's house. It's still an awesome movie. And Tim, if you're reading this, I'm giving you a shout-out (I'm not quite sure how to do it, but I'm "shouting out" anyway).

Much respect to Tim's dad for supplying the money to eat at White Castle. Three things I've missed while in Lincoln: White Castle, raspberry iced tea (specifically Lipton Brisk), and Tim (and other friends, for that matter).

Once again, it's late, and I need to get to bed. I have to get up somewhat early tomorrow and get a haircut. Actually, I have to get them all cut! A-hahahahaha . . . yeah, I'm shutting up now.

Peace out, and God bless.

Posted 3:43 AM by Robert
Yes, I'm updating my blog at 3 AM. I would've liked to be in bed by now, but I've been somewhat busy, between watching "The Rockford Files" and playing "GoldenEye" on N64. I've been trying in vain for the last week to get past the Silo level on 00 Agent. So close, yet so far . . .

I'm a little disappointed, because my Flyers lost in overtime to Calgary of all teams. At least we still got a point out of it. I think we're still in first place overall. Whatever the case, I've definitely learned in the last two days that there are more important things in life. I've also been using this same logic to convince myself that I don't need a girlfriend. After all, isn't that time, money, and energy that can be better spent on something like ministry and witnessing for Christ? Of course, having a girlfriend/spouse could be a part of one's ministry, so that reasoning leaves me right back where I started.

If you're wondering what's happening in the ongoing soap opera/daytime drama that is my life, "All the Days of the Bold and Baurawt While the World Turns," there's not much. Saw the girl today, didn't get a chance to talk to her. Won't see her tomorrow. Won't see her until next year. But I've been free and single for 19 years, so why change that now and upset the delicate nature of my little world? Exactly.

I know what you're thinking. "Stop moping about it. Pick up a phone and ask her out. Grow some . . . um, let's just say 'guts.'" I wish it were that easy for me to talk to the opposite sex. Then again, it's not that easy for a lot of people. I have an incredible fear of failure, which holds me back when it comes to matters such as this. I'm confident I'll get over it, it's just going to take some time. But hey, only four weeks until classes start again. That should be more than enough time to conquer my fear.

Whatever happens, I won't know about it until it happens. If I've learned anything over the last three months, it's that I have to keep God at the center of my life. Peter walked on the water until he took his eyes off of Jesus. As long as we have faith, we won't sink. I know that God's plan is better than mine, so I'll do whatever I can to follow it. I'll pray for His guidance, and do my best to live by it.

On that note, it's time for me to go to bed. I should be back tomorrow night, reporting live from my mom's apartment in Naperville! And a special report that might just save your family's life. Plus, the 15-day forecast! Okay, those last two things won't happen. But you get the idea.

Posted 1:47 AM by Robert
Here I am, Monday night (technically, it's Tuesday morning, but whatever), finally updating my blog. My last final was today, and as of 10 AM, I have finished my first semester at Lincoln Christian College. Two semesters of college under my belt, and only seven more to go. If that doesn't seem long enough, I need only remind myself that I'm on pace graduate in May of 2007. So much life yet to be lived . . .

My beloved Eagles won their ninth game in row, defeating the Miami Dolphins 34-27 on Monday Night Football. Between that and finishing finals, I'm in a pretty good mood.

Just in case anybody is stalking me, here's my schedule for the next couple of days. I'll spend Tuesday doing wash, packing, and tying up any loose ends around here, and Wednesday I'll make the two-hour trip back to Naperville. You probably think I'm nuts for staying at school an extra two days, but I've got my reasons. And let me tell you, they're quite pathetic reasons.

You may recall my "essay" back on Thursday about how we as humans cannot justify the emotion of love. Actually, we can, but I don't believe that we can fully appreciate it unless God is in the picture. Anyway, I feel like I need to add to it. My point is this: what attracts us to others?

I'm not sure that love at first sight is possible. How can we establish a connection just by looking at a person? How can I justify being attracted to a girl when the total time of our conversations and interactions is only five minutes? I can know things about her, but how can I know her. I may think that I'm attracted to her, but what determines if those feelings are real and legitimate? Is it the lump in my throat or butterflies in my stomach everytime I see her? Is it that certain feeling I get just by seeing her name on a piece of paper? All I know is that I want to know, to explore these feelings, for lack of a better term. Just a couple hours, a conversation, an experience.

So what makes me think that I might be attracted to someone? What happens when a connection is established on any level? What makes us say, "I'm head over heels for her," or, "Once I get to know her, I'm probably going to be head over heels"? Of course, there are certain qualities we look for in a mate, but there is so much more involved. Some call it chemistry. My roommate calls it the "It-Factor." Whatever it is, it's there. We can try to suppress it, make ourselves believe it's not real, and thus avoid any possible heartache. But the more we deny it, the more it screams to be heard and felt. I can tell myself that "it's better to be single," or, "I'm married to the Lord." I can reason that there are people dealing with diseases and circumstances far worse than loneliness, but it's still there, pulling on my heart, refusing to go away.

So why am I still here in Lincoln? Mainly because I feel like relaxing and hanging around with my friends, but there's definitely a third reason. It's that hope that maybe I'll see her somewhere, while I'm checking my mail, or maybe during lunch. It's the hope that I'll just get a chance to say hi, to ask her what she's doing for Christmas, to let her borrow a pen or pencil. Will it happen? Probably not, but I can't be sure. And telling a girl that you have a junior high-crush on her the day before going home isn't a great scenario. But the chance of seeing her, maybe telling her how you feel (or how you think you feel) far outweighs the certainty that you won't see her again for over a month. The only thing worse than being separated from someone physically is being separated emotionally.

I can think of no better way to close this entry than with the words of Jakob Dylan and The Wallflowers, in their song, "Closer to You":

You know there's nowhere else I wanted to be
Than be there when you needed me.
I'm sorry too but don't give up on me
And just remember than when you were asleep,
I got a little bit closer to you.

Posted 12:07 AM by Robert
I downloaded the COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD TODAY! It's a program called BlockCAD, and basically it'sl ike playing with virtual Legos. You build all kinds of stuff, with all kinds of different colors, and then rotate it and look at it from all kinds of different views. In short, IT'S AWESOME!!!

Anyway, back to being 19. Last night, I promised you an explanation for why I have the nickname Baurawt (as you can see, it's my username). It was a cloudy Sunday morning in March of 2000 -- wait, maybe it was sunny . . . I can't remember. Whatever was going on outside, I know exactly what happened inside that church on that day when two fates would collide (yeah, so it wasn't really that dramatic).

As I walked into the Sunday school classroom, one of my friends, Ben Dixon, attempted to say, "Hey Robert." But, it was early, and my name came out sounding like "Bo-rot." He's the kind of wacky and goofy person you would expect this from, even though he really was trying to say my name the right way. A month later, when I asked him how to spell it, he said, "B-A-U-R-A-W-T." And so it stuck.

I'm also referred to as the Prime Minister of Canada. I'm not quite sure why I got that title, but I can recall how it happened. Before going to a Christian concert known as Festival con Dios in September of 2001 (the 15th, to be exact), our youth group met at our church. As we headed to the vans, a bunch of my friends (I believe it was Will, Andy, and Chris) surrounded me and started shouting, "Come on Mr. President!" We all ran into the vans as a group, as if they were my Secret Service agents. Because of my deep affection for Canada (something that my friends have enjoyed making light of), I told them, "I'm not the President. I'm the Prime Minister of Canada." It became a running joke to announce me everytime we went somewhere, and whenever we travelled in multiple vehicles, Rick Marcum -- one of the youth workers; you know who you are -- would talk about the "chase car" and the "decoy car." It's basically a huge inside joke, but to this day, I remain the Prime Minister of Canada.

I'm sure that doesn't help you understand it any better, but at least now you know the origin of such words as "Baurawt" and "Primey."

Four finals down, one to go. Of course, it'll probably be my hardest. Yes, it's the wonderful world of IDS (Interdisciplinary Studies). If you've attended LCC, you need no explanation. If not, you don't want one. But for now, I've got the weekend to sleep and relax a little. Be sure to check back tomorrow, and see what amazing adventures I'll have! It's sure to be high-octane sleeping and non-stop TV watching at its finest!

Posted 12:28 AM by Robert
Sorry about that last rant, but I had to get some things off my chest.

On a serious note, what's the deal with commercials? Have you seen the one where the guy is shaving his car? I know it's supposed to showcase the razor's protective shaving gel, but if you have to shave your car, you've got bigger problems than your choice of electric razor.

And that Old Navy commercial, with the dancing monkey and Fran Drescher. "My shizzle's gone fazizzle"? What does that mean??? What does that or the monkey have to do with Old Navy?

Between that and the Golden Arches, it seems like media is going "hip hop." When was the last time you saw a McDonald's commerical that wasn't "street?" For serious, I'm certainly not "lovin' it."

I'm not hatin' or discriminatin', but I fail to see the corporate appeal in these promotions. It doesn't matter what the theme is, they're just poorly produced.

Anyway, it's time for the exciting conclusion to last night's "What the Deuce?" As you may remember (if you don't, just scroll down and read it), my roommate Topher called the Shop at Home network to ask them why a 1995 "Double Die Obverse Lincoln Cent" penny was selling for $99.96. Apparently, the portrait of the Lincoln Memorial was printed upside down. So an eight-year old mistake is now worth $100. How can I get in on scams like this? Maybe I should start looking through all my old pennies . . .

I should be going now. Conan O'Brien is on, and I need to study for three finals tomorrow. Come back tomorrow for an explanation of why I'm referred to as Baurawt and the Prime Minister of Canada. Same blog time, same blog channel!

Posted 11:23 PM by Robert
Can someone explain to me how we as people can justify our understanding of love? Look at how many romantic relationships any one person will go through in their life. Suppose a guy meets a girl. They decide to get married and spend the rest of their lives together. But there are billions of other people that they've never even met. How do they know they've found that special someone? Who's to say that there isn't someone else who would be a "better fit?" How can we possibly determine that he or she is "the one?" Maybe we accept that we'll never really know, so we just choose someone who is convenient, who's in the right place at right time. If that's true, it completely undermines the unique and sacred concept of love.

You know that song by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young? "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." I like the song, but I hate that concept. The thing that makes him or her the one you love is the fact that you love him or her. And if you're not with the one you love, it's generally not a good feeling. You don't just decide to love someone else instead.

Is there somebody meant for everyone? And if so, do we always meet that person? Is the person we end up the one we're meant to be with? If we're meant to be with somebody, are they also meant to be with us? HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW??? What even makes us attracted to someone else? How does that feeling of love manifest itself in us?

Assuming we're meant to be with somebody, how can we know that we've found him or her? When an opportunity to meet that person presents itself, what tells us that this is one of those chances? And what if we blow it? Do we get second chances? Third chances? Fourth chances?

Never mind that the word "love" is thrown around quite carelessly in our world. We don't expect to "fall in love," but it happens. Love comes to us, and when it does, we still have no idea what to do.

Posted 2:21 AM by Robert
At last, I'm updating my blog. My name is Robert, and if you're reading this, you're either interested, or you stumbled upon this by accident. Whatever the case, this is who I am, so welcome to my little world.

I am 19 years old, and freshman and Lincoln Christian College in Lincoln, Illinois, where I am a youth ministry major (here's my chance to brag: our women's volleyball team won the 2003 NCCAA Division II national championship). I am a born again Christian, and a quiet, reserved person by nature -- a bit of a "Lone Wolf" persona -- but I also enjoy being around people, and I have my wild and energetic moments.

I was born and raised in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, until I moved with my family to Aurora, Illinois, in July of 1993. I lived with my parents until 2002, when my dad got remarried and moved to New Jersey. I stayed with both my mom and my grandparents until graduating from high school, at which point I moved to South Jersey, and gained a younger brother and two younger sisters. I came back to Illinois in January of 2003, and because my dad and stepmom got divorced, I will probably never see my siblings again, something that pulls at my heart daily.

While I was in New Jersey, I attended Camden County College for a semester, so I had some college under my belt before this year. After moving back to Illinois, I worked at McDonald's for a week and half (my advice: don't, unless you enjoy working non-stop and being treated like a moron). I then worked at a hospital as a patient transporter for four months before going away to school (although "going away" isn't the best term, since its only a two hour drive from home).

Growing up, I played hockey for nine years (defense, if you're wondering what position). My passions in life are sports and teaching God's truth. I am, regrettably, single, and the one girl I've got a crush on is out of my league. Okay, I just lack self-confidence, but she's still too good for me. C'est la vie (oh yeah, I also took three years of French in high school. C'est la langue d'amour).

My favorite food is a Philly Cheesesteak, my favorite band is the Newsboys, my favorite song is "Entertaining Angels," my favorite show "Due South," though I enjoy several others (including Futurama, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Ed, Alias, 24, Scrubs, The Rockford Files, MST3K, 3rd Rock from the Sun, and the list could go on), and if I could only pick one favorite movie, I would choose "Rocky." Oh, and www.homestarrunner.com is arguably the best website ever created.

I drive a 1997 black Ford Probe. It's a nice car -- a lot of space for a compact, and it gets great gas mileage. Before that, it was a 1989 blue Ford Aerostar. Yes, it was a minivan, but I loved it. It was my first car, and as my friends and I called it, the "Shaggin' Wagon" (which is strange, because nothing closely remoted to shagging went on inside it).

I'm not sure how much more you need (or want) to know about me, and whatever it is will probably be revealed in future posts. I must end this one, as it is 2 AM, and I have an 8:30 final in the morning. And right now, my roommate is calling the Shop at Home network, because we can't figure out why a "Double Die Obverse Lincoln Cent" penny is selling for $99.96 (plus $6.95 shipping and handling). I know that doesn't have anything to do with anything, I just thought I'd mention it (tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of this event).

Allow me to close with a list of things that I have found to be true:
-God does exist, He created the world, and He sent His son Jesus, who died on a cross and rose again after three days, into the world to free us from our sins.
-We are not saved by our actions, but through our faith in the salvation which comes from Jesus Christ.
-God is faithful. He DOES NOT change.
-God does have a purpose for all of us.
-Duct tape can fix anything, except a broken heart.
-The worst feeling in the world is unreciprocated love.
-I may not live to see any Philadelphia sports team win a championship (but hey, a guy can dream).
-My roommate (and best friend) is strange.

Make it a great day.

Posted 6:33 AM by Robert
Yup, so here I am, starting a blog (again). I'll add something to it, when I have something to add.